Comedian T-Shirts

"And now a request from the audience."

"Thank you. You've been a great audience."

'That would be a whole lot funnier if it weren't hooked up to your colostomy bag.'

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Maybe it needs a caption."

'Joking or non-joking?'

Private Eye Editor Ian Hislop

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

Norman Wisdom 1066

"We're not a seafood restaurant -- this building has a pretty severe lobster infestation."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

Man in bed to hospital clown: 'It may surprise you to hear that, actually, morphine is the best medicine.'

'Tell us what you've done with all the grass!'

Stuff between birth and death

"See? No socialists."

'We had to hire a bigger venue to accommodate the elephant in the room.'

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

Thanksgiving.

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

A man seeking truth encounters a clown.

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

Caricature of Bruce Forsythe

Pandemic Jeopardy

Please enjoy this culturally, ethnically, religiously and politically correct cartoon responsibly.

'When I clap my wings you will jump up and start acting like a hypnotist...'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Your order is confirmed and your credit card has been charged. You have purchased one small liberal-arts college in New England. Thank you for your order."

'If you would like to read more, the fine print is tattooed to my foot.'

'I got downsized after the king subscribed to that online joke service.'

'A clown? What makes you think you could be a clown?'

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

'Why you should always stick to the script.'

'Why don't we keep the law of demand, repeal the supply part,'

"Try to find something that works like aspirin but costs much more."

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'