Movie Night Humorist Gifts

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

Horror movies

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Bloody hell!"

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Let's see, we bought the giant pop corn, tow giant sodas, and a big box of candy. . . we were lucky the megaplex's loan department was open!"

Cinemuck