Cigarette Irony Gifts

"Last cigarette? Sorry we don't encourage smoking."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

'Excuse me,sir-those wouldn't happen to be your cigarette butts,would they?'

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

Identity Parade - Smoker.

"He said if we don't let him in, he'll huff and he'll puff and he'll fill up our whole house with cigar smoke."

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

Warning.

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'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

If they ban smoking in cars...

Snowman

What? Why the heck not?

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

"I've finally kicked my vaping habit."

"See? Right there - it says bubblegum."

'It's a filthy and nasty habit, but at least, you won't end up with yellow teeth...'

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

"I'll keep thinking inside the box as long as they let me smoke in the box."

'I roll my own E-cigarettes."

"If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?"