Cigarette Jokers Gifts

'I can't afford em - Will you kill me?'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Photobooth Photobomb

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

Lesbians for Christ

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'Looks like the deer are moving out of these woods.'

A man squashed by a giant leaf

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'She's no ladybird Stan...' - Ladybird says 'bum...bottom.'

Almost Your Time.

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

''Stop smoking'? -- but my psychiatrist just told me to start!'

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

Cut down your own tree.

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

"Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than this..?"

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"

Fall, in summary...

Bull in field lurking behind tree waiting to ambush ramblers.

'Was it windy last night...?'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

Bear with 'Bear Aspirin': 'I have one grizzly headache.'

'I fell off my stool...'

'The math is simple... for every smoking lounge we provide we save on seventy-six pensions.'

'Will your stocks recover soon? How refreshing, sir - you still have a sense of humour.'

"I hate my gym."