Tobacco Tricksters Gifts

'I got hooked on nicotine eating slugs on a tobacco farm.'

Late BroomStick

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

Snowman Magic

"Smile if you're guilty!"

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

Lighting a Pipe

Exempli Gratia.

'Perhaps you would like to rephrase your last answer.'

A man offering snuff to a fellow passenger with a big nose

'We the jury find the defendant guilty on the first count, kinda sorta guilty on the second, and guilty as hell on the third.'

'Thirty days or thirty dollars? -- Let's see the money first!'

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

Dogs must be on leash.

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

'Here, Ben, try somma my spitless tobacco.'

'Hey, Fred -- want to see a stupid pet trick?'

"So. . . how long have you been vaping?"

'Oi! It's no smoking in here.'

'Wait until the tobacco companies hear about this!'

'Bill the hypnotist may have lost the trial, but he still had a few tricks up his sleeve.'

Yo yo.

'I'm going to lay a guilt trip on you, man.'