Cia Gifts

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"This place has the best happy hour."

The Computer Bore

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'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'No ice.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

A vampire in a canoe.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

A day at the races

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"An everything Martini, please."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'