Cio Gifts

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Shepherd and eurydice

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I sent out for everything.'