Chief Information Officer Gifts

Google

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"#Win!"