Chief Technology Officer Gifts

"As your Chief Technology Officer it's my duty to inform you that we don't have any."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"I reap and I reap and it's like he doesn't even notice."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'He's a good listener, but only to the sound of his own voice.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Bring me some more power.'

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

Executive with desk-boxes 'get rich' and 'get even'.

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

Agreeable Noises

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

'I'll need some people to boss around.'

'Look, you can actually see Bill Gates' office from here.'

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"About the shareholders meeting, ….Have Hayward update me on the smoke and Crampton brief me on the mirrors."

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

"It was a lot easier to keep up with the Joneses before they replaced their entire workforce with robots."

Elon Musk upset that 'X'is still referred to as 'Twitteer'.

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

Fired Big Shots Who's Who.

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"