Technology Coordinator Gifts

'This biometric ID badge is part of the school's new security system. The badge contains y encoded retinal scan, fingerprints and level of job enthusiasm.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

In the Guru District

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'Is this the new input device?'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

Deadline

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

AI Safety Officer

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Meet the new factory manager.

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."