Technology Consultant Gifts

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"I do wish the company would invest in newer technology."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Wow! That's what I call innovation! We've got the fanciest,newest, most expensive useless software on the market!'

'Is this the new input device?'

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

Computer Models.

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Meet the new factory manager.

Recycling Bins: Plastic, Glass, Paper, and Last Year's Technology.

'I have a plan 'B', but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

Information booth consisting of internet search engines

"Why didn't we think of that?"

Human Resources...Cyborg Resources.

"At least you were replaced with a two ton industrial robot. I was replaced with an app."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"Before you leave, would you like to upgrade to the latest phone that replaces the phone you just purchased?"

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

'This is the interoffice phone system they installed over the weekend?'

"Son, I have just one word to say to you. . . are you listening? Bitcoin."

"I think our 'Smart TV' might have overheard us..."

Guide dogs assist people glued to their phones

"Just reply: 'I'm not a bot. You're a bot.'"

"It's all much simpler since we replaced reading, writing and 'rithmetic with 'Hey Siri'."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

How M2M really works.

"Nobody told me the 'cutting edge' would be quite like THIS!"

Telecoms Law