Technology Consultant Gifts

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"I do wish the company would invest in newer technology."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Wow! That's what I call innovation! We've got the fanciest,newest, most expensive useless software on the market!'

'Is this the new input device?'

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

Computer Models.

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Meet the new factory manager.

Recycling Bins: Plastic, Glass, Paper, and Last Year's Technology.

'I have a plan 'B', but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

"iSad."

Information booth consisting of internet search engines

"Why didn't we think of that?"

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

'This is the interoffice phone system they installed over the weekend?'

"Son, I have just one word to say to you. . . are you listening? Bitcoin."

Guide dogs assist people glued to their phones

"Just reply: 'I'm not a bot. You're a bot.'"

"It's all much simpler since we replaced reading, writing and 'rithmetic with 'Hey Siri'."

"I think our 'Smart TV' might have overheard us..."

"Before you leave, would you like to upgrade to the latest phone that replaces the phone you just purchased?"

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"At least you were replaced with a two ton industrial robot. I was replaced with an app."

Human Resources...Cyborg Resources.

Telecoms Law

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

Your e-mail in the computer

"Nobody told me the 'cutting edge' would be quite like THIS!"

How M2M really works.