Technology Advisor Gifts

Where have you been? I met this woman. She was incredible. Really? Tell me. She's a salesperson at Computer Villa. She's a Dominatrix. Oh no. It was amazing. She told me what to buy. She called my old technology obsolete! Time to check you into a home. Where's Sadie? I need to be spanked with my phone.

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

In the Guru District

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Is this the new input device?'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Minority Report

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

Death to the Extremists

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

AI Safety Officer

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Meet the new factory manager.

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"If you could just stop threatening to invade us every 5 minutes... that would be great."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

HUAWEI 5G

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"Mr. President-elect, the NSA is ready for your directives on who to spy on and how much."

The Design Artiste

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

Obama visits Mexico

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."