Technical Advisor Gifts

'From the looks of you, the problem probably is with your set.'

'You may be a self-made man, but I was technical advisor.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Is this the new input device?'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

AI Safety Officer

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Meet the new factory manager.

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Fact amnesty"

"If you could just stop threatening to invade us every 5 minutes... that would be great."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

S.S.dot.com

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

"Mr. President-elect, the NSA is ready for your directives on who to spy on and how much."

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'