Technical Assistant Gifts

"It says they're upgrading their software to something worse."

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Early cyborg.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Congratulations on your retirement!

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

High speed cinder block

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

Battery Lighthouse

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

Fixing the TV.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'