Tech Assistant Gifts

'Don't worry. She probably just needs help with her computer.'

"No...wait. This the new iphone."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

Tech support...can I help you!

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

Natural Stupidity is no match for Artificial Intelligence.

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

I'd rather be phishing.

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

"Computer Help Line? I think something bad has happened to my hard drive!"

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

The HR department at the tech company allowed Randy the use of their therapy robot.

'Hi, your IT section sent me to test the network sockets.'

"Are you George or his AI replacement?"

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

Musk's Twitter

SF NO

'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'

Oughta reply

Office Bldg. Being replaced by a computer is one thing, but an app is really humiliating.