Telecom Consultant Gifts

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Is this the new input device?'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

Minority Report

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

AI Safety Officer

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Meet the new factory manager.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

Data From a Truck

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"We've been cancelled."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."

HUAWEI 5G

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"Why didn't we think of that?"

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."