Computer Consultant Gifts

Computer whisperer.

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

'This is Mr. Uhmatungha, he knows how to protect computers from even the worst hacker and virus attacks.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

I'm in IT.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

The Computer Bore

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'