Conference Coordinator Gifts

"New York are at Lunch, Munich are at Coffee and Tokyo are at Lunch."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Conference Pears

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'And in conclusion.'

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

'Let me present today's speaker.'