Meeting Coordinator Gifts

'Our meeting coordinator recommends that we get a smaller table...'

"That, my son, is where the store all the minutes of all the last meetings."

'And now, Tiddles will report on our pest control division.'

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Conference Pears

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

'And in conclusion.'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare