Tech Head Gifts

State of the art computing purchases become obsolete in the time it takes to purchase it.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

S.S.dot.com

"Fact amnesty"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Music for car stereos

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

Cyberwarfare

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

"It was a lot easier to keep up with the Joneses before they replaced their entire workforce with robots."

"You are found guilty of privacy, aggravated privacy and the exercise of privacy with intent to conceal."

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."