Tech Head Gifts

State of the art computing purchases become obsolete in the time it takes to purchase it.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

S.S.dot.com

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"Fact amnesty"

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

Music for car stereos

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

'Look, you can actually see Bill Gates' office from here.'

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

"It was a lot easier to keep up with the Joneses before they replaced their entire workforce with robots."

Mark Zuckerberg

Home for the Holidays

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

Huawei Five-O

"You are found guilty of privacy, aggravated privacy and the exercise of privacy with intent to conceal."

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

Cyberwarfare

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."