Cia Operative Gifts

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Tough Job

CIA TortureTapeGate

CIA, 'Sorry, Ferguson, but you're out -- I gave your job to Inspector Twelve.'

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

'Don't give me that junk! — We spies don't either have to stick together!'

Scandal Du Jour

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

Bureau of Missing Persons

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

The Federal Witless Protection Program in action.

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"If your application is successful we'll let you know in the most secretive way imaginable."

"My next client is a CIA operative who insists on absolute confidentiality for all is eye exams."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Felix Mendelssohn

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

Frankenstein's monster picking out his brain for the day.

The Likeable Torturer

"And that is how you handle liver!"

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

CIA Espionage

'We want to make a movie about making a fake movie so you can sneak us out of Washington.'

CIA TortureTapeGate

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'