Cia Agents Gifts

CIA. Spy. I hate to break this to you, Ernie, but you

'Maybe congress will let us tickle them.'

CIA, 'Blast it! -- We shouldn't NEED a lost & found department!'

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

The Anti-Agent

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

Vaccination Passport

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Meet Santa's entourage

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

The Likeable Torturer

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

'Don't you ever get tired of all the whispering?'

CIA TortureTapeGate

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

CIA Espionage

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."