Intelligence Agents Gifts

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"National security adviser"

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

CIA report

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

'More government surveillance!'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"That's hardly necessary!"

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

Charades

Covid Lab Theory