Csi Gifts

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Showbiz Awards

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Benedict Cumberbatch

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Director/Action Man toy.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Herman Mankiewicz

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'He likes to power nap.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"