Csi Watcher Gifts

"Once again, remains consist of a foul-smelling, gelatinous mass."

"It get it – you're hungry."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Before the riots/after the riots

Cat has birds on whiskers,

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'

"Nowadays, it's all about who you know, not what you know."

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'It's a rare sighting of a red squirrel.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"Do you have anything for DNA stains?"

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"Marco... POLO!"

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

"Yes, I did use your credit card to pay for a computer and phone. Just how long did you expect that ball of yarn to entertain me."

I got them to drop the corruption charges, I bribed them.

"Nope. Still no intelligent life."

'wow, I can't believe we never noticed that!'

'He'll be alright Sir, once he stops being afraid of the dark.'

"This is the break room, where we watch reruns of classic security footage."

"You know you're getting old when you start getting nose whiskers."