Csi Aficionado Gifts

'Chief, the lab analyzed the keyboard. The suspect smokes, has long fingernails, and eats a whole of of cheese crackers.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Golfing Boss

"Portrait of a Lady"

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Send in the Clones.'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

The circus diver.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Ta Da!...