Church Regulars Gifts

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Midwest Winter Items.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

Church Restoration Fund.

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'Tell me about your feelings of alienation.'

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

Four Chanting Monks

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

"Let's start a small group."

'We're donating our organist to science.'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

Curate talking to miners

'You're away, Doc!'

"Can we discuss this?"

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"I haven't seen you in church lately, Mr. Smedly..."

"And a source said let there be light."

Coventry Carol

Eating the Cocktail Olive

"They're flipping to see who pays for the meal."