Faithful Congregants Gifts

Coventry Carol

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Monk Prompt

Caption Contest TK

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Spiritual Lives Matter

Church Restoration Fund.

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"The buck really stops with him."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Four Chanting Monks

Today's Sermon: We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Is there any chance of a bailout?

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."