Faithful Parishioner Gifts

"Today's message really convicted me Preacher. Good thing church is only once a week."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Priest

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Monk Prompt

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Caption Contest TK

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Various Birds of Pray.

Church Restoration Fund.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'Pop-up Bible.'

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Men's Prayer Group.

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."