Church History Humorist Gifts

Ingoldsby Legends - Impious Bishop Robert of Birchington

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Monk Prompt

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

How's my sermon. . .

Bishops Snooker

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"...and in conclusion..."

'Even More Disciples'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The ten ammendments

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Applause

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Eucharist