Church Hall Humorist Gifts

Cleaner playing pool with brush.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Monk Prompt

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

How's my sermon. . .

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Even More Disciples'

Bishops Snooker

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"...and in conclusion..."

The ten ammendments

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Church restrooms

Finger puppets in church.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Applause

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."