Christmas Tv Aficionado Gifts

Santa Claus clicker

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

That one has all the batteries!

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

100 best beheadings

The Old Time Television Channel

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"He's an indoor cat."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

Couch and Potato