Christmas Culture Aficionado Gifts

Human Cull: People who think you have to be a devout Christian to appreciate Christmas.

Santa Claus's Mail

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

That one has all the batteries!

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"I don't believe in you!"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Panettone

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

Filming Christmas

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

'He's got your nose.'

"Elfis"

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

Zoom Christmas

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Meet Santa's entourage

"I noticed a few browns."

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."