Modern Christmas Aficionado Gifts

The revised 12 days of Christmas

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

That one has all the batteries!

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"I don't believe in you!"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Panettone

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

'He's got your nose.'

"Elfis"

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

Zoom Christmas

Filming Christmas

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."