Modern Christmas Aficionado Pillows

The revised 12 days of Christmas

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Panettone

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"I don't believe in you!"

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

'He's got your nose.'

Zoom Christmas

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Filming Christmas

"Elfis"

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

Reindeer

"I noticed a few browns."