Christmas Aficionados Pillows

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

"It's a damn shame we can't get away with this more than one night a year!"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

When Santa Gets an Idea

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'You know how 'method' Charles is . . .'

"This is the time of the year when you really have to stay on your toes about being good."

"He had a list of women... He was sneaking out to their houses at night, giving them gifts..."

"Gesundheit!"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

That one has all the batteries!

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Panettone

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"I don't believe in you!"

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Christmas Presents.

'He's got your nose.'

Zoom Christmas

"Elfis"

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Filming Christmas

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."