Festive Aficionados Pillows

"October? Already?"

A field of Christmas baubles

'How will the current economic situation affect the quality and quantity of my presents?'

The history of the Christmas cracker.

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Let's see. . . did I spend the same on little Jimmie as I did on Susie?...."

Lesbian civil partnership.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Yo ho ho!

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Gesundheit!"

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'And that,and that,and that...'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Festive squad

The other days of the year...

Merry Kissmas

A Christmas tree self portrait

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."