Festive Period Aficionado Pillows

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Yo ho ho!

Christmas sweater alternatives

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'And that,and that,and that...'

The other days of the year...

Festive squad

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Merry Kissmas

A Christmas tree self portrait

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

Elf of the Month

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."