Festive Season Fanatic Pillows

"This is my lawyer. He's here to witness the promises you make, which will constitute a verbal contract."

"Santa left the regional distribution center yesterday and is processing in a facility in Ohio today, so looks like he'll be out for delivery a day later than expected."

'Thanks for the milk and cookies, but what I really need is to recharge my GPS!'

Presents

Thank You for Wearing a Mask Santa

"Last year the presents came up to here."

C-AUS

Elfies

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"

Frozen Santa Claus and his reindeer.

Post early for Christmas 2010.

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

'Gee, thanks for the earrings dear. They'll match the bracelet you gave me last year.'

Christmas Presents.

'305 days until Christmas.'

Express queue at Lapland.

'Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On Comet! On Cupid...CUPID?!'

"Of course I was speeding - how else am I going to visit billions of households in one night?!"

"He got a bad review on yelp."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Yo ho ho!

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'