Festive Season Fanatic Pillows

"This is my lawyer. He's here to witness the promises you make, which will constitute a verbal contract."

"Santa left the regional distribution center yesterday and is processing in a facility in Ohio today, so looks like he'll be out for delivery a day later than expected."

'Thanks for the milk and cookies, but what I really need is to recharge my GPS!'

Presents

Thank You for Wearing a Mask Santa

"Last year the presents came up to here."

C-AUS

Elfies

Frozen Santa Claus and his reindeer.

Post early for Christmas 2010.

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

'Gee, thanks for the earrings dear. They'll match the bracelet you gave me last year.'

Christmas Presents.

'305 days until Christmas.'

"Of course I was speeding - how else am I going to visit billions of households in one night?!"

"He got a bad review on yelp."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Yo ho ho!

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'And that,and that,and that...'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

A Christmas tree self portrait

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

The other days of the year...

Merry Kissmas