Festive Tv Enthusiast Gifts

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

Yo ho ho!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Filming Christmas

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

Must-See Lockdown TV.