Festive Tv Enthusiast Gifts

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

Yo ho ho!

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Filming Christmas

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."