Christmas Partygoer Gifts

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that gift, because you see. . ."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Masquerade

Carioca

Redhead

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

Cheers

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Leo McKern

Christmas sweater alternatives

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

Romans.

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

Down on Bourbon Street...

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

"Aperitif?"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"My compliments to the sommelier."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar