Party Goers Gifts

'You've come straight from an atheist birthday party?!!' 'EIGHTIETH! EIGHTIETH!'

Sympathy Cards for everyday use.

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

"I think we're getting to that age where all of our friends are having kids so they can leave parties earlier."

"I'm sure you'll recall my husband once he starts speaking. His high pitched whine is unforgettable."

"I don't have a problem with social drinking. It's the social not-drinking that gives me trouble."

Smorgasborg

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

'The Cab's here!'

'Don't even bother, pal. Looks like they're all taken.'

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

'Oh! Hi Doc! Say, I've been meaning to call you. What do you do with a bitch who's always in heat?"

Ear Muffs - ".. and with your two weeks in Ibiza, you get a free pair of these."

"Well, fancy that, I'm in honey too."

Two drunken men trying to fit into the same coat.

Clancy: Happy Hour's Over

They get together, feel sorry for themselves, and eat a spreadable meat concoction. It's a pit, pate party!

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Masquerade

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

Carioca

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Leo McKern

Cheers

Christmas sweater alternatives

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.