Christmas Partygoer T-Shirts

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that gift, because you see. . ."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

Masquerade

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

Carioca

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Cheers

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Leo McKern

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

Christmas sweater alternatives

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

Romans.

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Down on Bourbon Street...

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

Vampire Bat

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"Aperitif?"

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"My compliments to the sommelier."