Christmas Escapist Gifts

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

Bo're'droom

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Hey, come and check this out: I've stumbled upon Superman's Fortress of Solitude...

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

Roscoe's Great Escape

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"How to deal with weeds."

'Quit complaining. Isn't it nice to have the beach to ourselves?'

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'Send me somewhere sunny and warm!'

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.