Festive Escapist Gifts

DESERT ISLAND CHRISTMAS

"What I want for Christmas is to have the day off and watch 'Miracle on 34th Street'."

"Great kids. Never forget a holiday."

"Gasp! Christmas! Puff! Must get away from...Christmas! Gasp! Puff!"

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'See you in two weeks!'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

'Do you suffer from Jet Lag the day after Christmas?'

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

Roscoe's Great Escape

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"How to deal with weeds."

'Quit complaining. Isn't it nice to have the beach to ourselves?'

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

'Send me somewhere sunny and warm!'

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

Festivus poles

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

Happy New Year

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Alone in the great blue sea at last, Professor Hoehns comes to know panic firsthand.

'You're gonna build a 'man cave' over younder in the forest..? Is that what you're saying Mr Adams??'

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Nutcracker Roller Coaster

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."