Vacation Escapist Gifts

Slot Machine: Please Go Home

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Holiday time.

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Ice fisher.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Crowded Ice Fishing

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"Now you can send it."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'See you in two weeks!'

Saved...life is good!

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

'At least they can never accuse me of 'insider trading' again.'