Vacation Escapists Gifts

"Without question, you're a big improvement on our last tour rep."

Holiday time.

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'See you in two weeks!'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"

The Desert Island Package

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

'You mean to tell me not one of us can write the word HELP legibly?'

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

'Send me somewhere sunny and warm!'

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

Alone in the great blue sea at last, Professor Hoehns comes to know panic firsthand.

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"Let's run away and make a new life for ourselves filled with completely different problems."

'Good morning, Ginger! -- Good morning, Mary Ann!'

'Maybe we could liven things up by getting a hub airport.'

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

A Real Working Vacation.

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

"What luck!"

Heavenly Desert Islands.