Paradise Escapist Gifts

'Working in an erotic paradise can be hard on the attention span, but you can handle it.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Now you can send it."

'See you in two weeks!'

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Saved...life is good!

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

Last Chance For Reality

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Young Houdini

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'At least they can never accuse me of 'insider trading' again.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

"I'm saving you with this booklet about the Kingdom of Heaven."

No early morning tea past this landing

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

"Quick! Hide the valuables."

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

'He needs professional HELP!'

A leprechaun sits under a mushroom.