Festive Escapist T-Shirts

DESERT ISLAND CHRISTMAS

"Great kids. Never forget a holiday."

"Gasp! Christmas! Puff! Must get away from...Christmas! Gasp! Puff!"

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'See you in two weeks!'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

Roscoe's Great Escape

'Do you suffer from Jet Lag the day after Christmas?'

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"How to deal with weeds."

'Quit complaining. Isn't it nice to have the beach to ourselves?'

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

'Send me somewhere sunny and warm!'

Festivus poles

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

'Good! And now - by simply shifting your weight - begin to carve a wide, slow turn across the slope.'

Happy New Year

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

Nutcracker Roller Coaster

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'You're gonna build a 'man cave' over younder in the forest..? Is that what you're saying Mr Adams??'

Alone in the great blue sea at last, Professor Hoehns comes to know panic firsthand.