Chiropractics Gifts

"I found this great chiropractor!"

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

"Judging by your tan I can see you play golf too."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"I stand corrected."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Stacked coffee cups look like a spine. This is why the more coffee you drink, the easier it is to stand up and keep yourself awake."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Egyptian chiropractor.

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'While doing the ' Hoxey-Pokey' I put my right hip in...I put my right hip out, and rhat's where it stayed!'

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

Joint Ventures!

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

"Do you know a good chiropractor?"

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

"Whiplash..."

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"